Logline:
When the local bully is murdered, the townsfolk he antagonized band together to cover up the crime.
Finalist - Top Ten StoryProse Screenplay Contest 2021
Finalist - Vail Film Festival Screenplay Contest 2021
Finalist - Top Ten PAGE International Screenplay Awards 2020
Semi Finalist - Los Angeles Screenwriters Competition 2020
Quarterfinalist - Genre Screenplay Competition 2020
Quarterfinalist -Big Break Competition 2020
One Bad Apple – The Golden Script Feedback
Concept: Good
“One Bad Apple” is a story about the relationships between people and the way in which our actions towards others inevitably reflect back on us in some way. The concept is fairly simple and enjoyable, but the execution is what makes it genuinely unique. The screenplay’s good writing and characterisation, as well as the positive and bright impression it leaves, allow it to truly stand out as a memorable work.
Storyline: Good
The storyline of this screenplay follows a story-within-a-story model. In it, the tale of Vincent and the consequences for his cruelty is actually being told as a fable to Sean. This leads to a great immersive effect as the secondary story is interrupted at times for the “narrators” to bicker over details. In addition, it emphasises the themes of the screenplay, as the main focus is on the moral taught by the events retold by Sean’s grandparents and the narrators can easily jump in with gentle reminders about what the story is meant to convey. Overall, this structure is highly original and entertaining, and it is made highly successful by how well the setting and characters of Wilburton are constructed, whimsical and bright in a way that is highly reminiscent of a real fairy-tale.
Characters: Very Good (-)
The characterisation is easily among the screenplay’s biggest strengths. The characters are simple and colourful, immediately drawing the attention of the audience. While the main characters are, of course, the most detailed ones, the entire cast of Wilburton residents are vibrant and highly entertaining. Although they are portrayed as simple and genuine folk, they are by no means made stupid or boring – instead, their positivity and welcoming nature makes them deeply likable and sympathetic. All characters are given their moment to shine in some way, many of them revealing personalities that are remarkably well-crafted in even the shortest and minor of appearances.
Dialogue: Very Good (-)
The dialogue is also one of the more impressive aspects of the story. It manages to be witty and light-hearted throughout the entire plot, without losing its genuineness. In fact, even the most emotional moments in conversations have their funny moments without losing any of their gravity. The only deviation from this rule is Vincent’s dialogue, especially the speech at the Apple Festival, in which he reveals his plan to ruin the town – his manner of speaking is bitterly ironic in a way that is less funny and more simply cruel. This is highly successful at establishing his character as someone who not only does not fit in the idyllic setting of Wilburton, but is also so different from it and so resentful of that difference that he is willing to go out of his way to tear the town and its residents down.
Commerciality: Good
Due to its originality and entertainment value, the screenplay is likely to be quite successful in a commercial setting. This success is further helped along by the fact that the story’s positive, kind tone stands out immediately among most other films that deal with similar themes, and so it has little competition in that aspect.
Originality: Very Good (-)
“One Bad Apple” builds a warm and entertaining story that, at the same time, remains genuinely insightful instead of becoming superficial in its focus on setting up a specific mood. The subjects it discusses are approached with care and understanding, lending them significant gravity even despite the story’s reliance on comedy.
Complexity: Good
The main theme discussed in this screenplay is how people’s behaviour towards others in turn shapes the way they are treated. This is clearly shown in the way Vincent, although initially welcomed in the town with open arms, quickly turns the residents against himself with his thoughtless cruelty to the point where an entire community of kind-hearted people is perfectly happy to cover up his murder. Aside from this main theme, which is also repeated by the narrators of the story, the script also explores the idea of the obsession with power and influence as something that can not only poison relationships, but also twist a person beyond measure. This topic is also explored through Vincent’s behaviour, as it is only once he realises that the town’s reverence towards his position gives him power that he begins to escalate his behaviour into something truly monstrous.
Production Value: Good
With its highly enjoyable writing and great atmosphere, “One Bad Apple” is a screenplay that can appeal to a wide public regardless of age. Its vibrant setting and characters make it entertaining and memorable, and its strong and relevant messages add to its attractiveness as a story.